I don’t think it can be overstated how much damage the death of the American dream has done to the American psyche. Maybe all you need to do is spend an hour looking at political news and social media to get the point. Compare that with the idea of what it meant to be an American before the 1970s. I wasn’t there, but I’m a student of history and I grew up hearing the stories and seeing the death of America’s soul, without realizing that was what I was seeing.
What was I seeing? I watched my grandmother move from a house with a pool in Stanton to a trailer park in Big Bear Lake to a small apartment she rented in Redding, California. Was that how she had pictured her retirement? I’m pretty sure that her generation imagined working hard, creating a home, raising a family there, and eventually dying there and leaving it to the next generation. The thing is – maintaining and paying for that home became more and more expensive. When my grandfather died, the money that should have been there, wasn’t. Her social security was barely enough to live on, she couldn’t get a job, and only because she lived with a depression era mentality did she leave behind enough to settle her debts and pay for her own funeral expenses. Was that the American Dream?
I could go on. I could give countless examples from my family, my friends, and from anywhere really. The American Dream died a slow and painful death. No one really noticed and in the process, the American people became unsettled and disjointed. Without a rudder, the ship sailed in circles, listed endlessly, and eventually went so far off course that recovery has become a near impossibility.
So what is this American Dream I’m speaking of?
There’s the textbook definition coined by James Truslow Adams in his 1931 book “Epic of America“. Truslow defined it as dreaming of a land where life was richer and fuller for everyone and opportunity existed for those who were willing to reach for it. I find that to be a pretty good definition – but somewhere along the way it was transmogrified into ‘everyone who works hard gets a house, a truck, a dog, a spouse, and two kids’ plus the ability to be master of your own domain’. That’s not a bad definition either but it’s a pretty far span from the original.
When people asked “How do I get that?” the answer was invariably “Get a good education and buy a home” – that was the golden path to the American Dream. Then things went awry…education costs skyrocketed, real estate costs skyrocketed, opportunity became expensive and hard work no longer seemed to do more than just pay the bills. Wages stagnated. Expenses continued to rise.
The American Dream was never “Work all the time and pay $6000+ a month or risk losing everything you’ve already worked so hard for.” And yet, that’s what it is today. That’s the reality. Is it any wonder that Americans have turned to opiates and social media addiction, binge watching and political trolling, mass shootings and mass gambling on speculative assets? Is it any wonder that record numbers are just giving up and moving onto the street? Not to me, it isn’t.
For decades now, I’ve looked at the path that is laid down for Americans and seen nothing but complete insanity at the end of it. This isn’t the American Dream. This is the American Nightmare. Greed, frivolity, disconnection, and indifference. A country where the unstated ethos is figure out how to get yours no matter how much it costs someone else. I’m not saying everyone is like that – in fact, most people aren’t – and that’s why most people aren’t winning – because the American system is set up to reward exploitation and those who are the best at exploiting their fellow humans end up creating the rules that increase the rewards for that kind of sociopathy.
So, what is the American Dream I’m speaking of and pining for?
The American Dream runs deeper than 1931. It goes back to the time before the Americas were even on the map. It was the idea that if you worked hard and kept your eyes open for the opportunity to make your life meaningful, that you would find a way to live, survive, and thrive. It involved looking deeply at your society and if you found it lacking, moving along and finding one that worked better for you, or if you couldn’t find one, then you could move along and create your own. The American Dream is about becoming the community, becoming the pioneers, becoming the founding mothers and fathers. The original American colonists, those who moved to the frontier, the prospectors and miners, the merchants and farmers, the trappers and the cowboys. The American Dream is actually something more like “If you don’t like what’s going on, you are free to move on and create something different”. It’s not even American, but it’s what led to America.
I’ve always laughed at the “Love it or leave it” crowd because in fact, that’s the greatest innovation of all time. It’s what created America. Thank you America for allowing me to leave.
The American Dream isn’t American – it needs a new name. Maybe an old name.
It’s called hope. It’s called optimism. It’s called opportunity. It’s called freedom.
So what is this thing I’m talking about? I think it comes down to having a home, a place where you can grow food, create art, cook, eat, talk story, and find that which feeds your soul (maybe for you it’s two kids and a dog in your truck or maybe it’s a glass blowing studio in your shed). You can find it in America, you can find it anywhere – but not if you are slaving away to earn $6000 a month to pay your insurance premiums, mortgage, groceries, utilities, car payment, and student loans. The American Nightmare has cancelled the American Dream.
The dream is important though and it needs a name. I’d make a new one but the Hindus have already nailed it.
In Sanskrit, the word is Santosha. In English it translates roughly to ‘Contentment’ – and that’s it. Santosha.
There is a catch though – Santosha is a deeply spiritual practice that doesn’t mean striving relentlessly for what we want, but deeply appreciating what we have – while still moving towards that which calls us. Contentment is what we all need and deserve. It’s worth pursuing – even if that means you have to find a way to escape from the things that block you from it.
So – the dream, the “I’d be happy if…” or “I’ll be satisfied when…” isn’t a bad thing. It pushes us, pulls us, draws us…but the achievement of it – the Santosha – only happens when we finally have the time to exist within it – and that, my friends, is what the American Nightmare is the most greedy with.