I never got laid here! That thought occurred to me when I was giving away my bed to some guy who came to get it “My girlfriend told me to come get it,” he said, and I thought – well, at least somebody is going to fuck in this bed.
(I can almost hear my almost 13-year-old daughter complaining that I just wrote that, but thank god she’ll never get the chance to read the journals I shredded!)
That was never the point of this place though. The point was to get away from my failed marriage while we finalized the divorce but to still be close enough to Sophia so I could spend time with her every day. Mission accomplished. One block from her school, this place was great for that. I could walk to pick her up from school throughout the sixth and seventh grade. We played chess, cribbage, mad Dutch Bastards, backgammon, Magic the Gathering, and other games. We talked, we worked on her homework, we ate, we drank tea from fancy 100 year old teapots, and then I would take her home. It really worked well for that.
What I liked about this place was that. I also liked the neighborhood. It’s quiet, convenient to the Kahala Mall and Hunikai beach. A nice neighborhood to bike or walk. It’s safe. And it was nice to have my own place again. So that was the positive.
The negatives. It’s too small to have sleepovers. I didn’t have a couch or space for a decent table or chairs. It lacks privacy on any level. Even now, I can hear Carl next door cursing and yelling on the phone and earlier today Ryan and Mami came back from Japan and their baby, Lily had more of her screaming tantrums – paper thin walls. The only outdoor area of this place is the stoop and that is literally right next to the bathroom of the place that Brandon and Mary just vacated – their bathroom windows are on my stoop. When I use my bathroom I can hear Hubie, the nice old man next door coughing – so I can only assume he hears me shitting. I had thought to maybe use the yard but the few times I made an effort, the landlord, Arnold came with his workmen to get his ‘building materials’ in the back. He told me to move my hammock so it wasn’t visible from the street, we had deep conflict over his guys locking the gate with a padlock until I switched the padlock. His building materials area is filled with mosquito breeding ponds and the no seeums and flies here were a never ending issue. The flying termites that swarmed during the summer months – INSIDE MY APARTMENT – and then shed their wings and left them everywhere. That wasn’t enjoyable.
It’s such a weirdly shaped place. Entry box big enough for bed with strange closet/hallway big enough for desk leading to shotgun kitchen not big enough for anything but at least it is a full kitchen. Tiny shower. Sink area in the bathroom so narrow I had to hunch my shoulders. Better than the studio I had in Kailua though – that one was a big big box with a toilet, sink, and shower. No kitchen. I had to use the bathroom sink as a kitchen sink as well.
I won’t miss this place, but I did get good use out of it. I wrote Hasan i-Sabah here and launched the syncretic religious philosophy of Baoism from this place. I wrote lore for a good number of projects and also wrote my unpublished historical fiction novel I, Watch. I think I wrote another book here too, come to think of it. I did most of the recording of Notes of Nowhere in that office/hallway. I sold a ton through eBay, swap meets, garage sale, marketplace, etc. I didn’t get rid of as much stuff as I had hoped I would, but my life’s accumulations fit (mostly) in a 4x5x9 storage locker. That’s 180 cubic feet. Something like 3.5 cubic feet of stuff for each year I’ve been alive. Although – now that I’ve bought the house in Japan – my cubic footage per year has gone up significantly. I take that back – I probably will miss this place. It’s one of the few places I’ve ever lived where nothing bad happened – that has to count for something. (As an aside: I came back to Hawaii (2017) with a trailer that was packed full and it was 7 x 6 x 12 (540 sq ft) – and when Hanane and I separated (2022) my storage was a 9 x 4 x 8- (288 sq ft) – so I guess I’m not doing that bad in terms of the amount of ‘stuff’ I have. At least it is going down – except for the house…)
Doing the garage sale last weekend, I finally met all the neighbors. I liked them all (even cussing Carl). Next time I move somewhere in Hawaii – I’m going to do a moving in yard sale. And maybe I’ll make a little more effort to have barbecues and things like that – or maybe not – I don’t want to invite people to knock on the door – at least not the weird ones. Oh wait…that might be me…