Disintermotivation is a term I coined to describe the opposite of motivation. It refers to a state of lethargy and disinterest that hinders progress and undermines one’s initial enthusiasm and commitment towards a goal. In this article, I will dive into the concept of disintermotivation, discuss its effects on individuals, and provide some useful strategies I’ve uncovered to overcome it.
Through understanding and addressing this phenomenon, individuals can regain their motivation and pursue a more fulfilling life.
Understanding Disintermotivation:
Disintermotivation is characterized by the sudden loss of drive and interest in a task or goal, often accompanied by emotional and psychological resistance. It creates a sense of pain and discomfort, making positive forward progress seem unattainable or even at times undesirable. This state can be particularly challenging as it thwarts even the best intentions and deep-seated commitments, leaving individuals feeling frustrated and stuck.
Real-life Example:
To illustrate the impact of disintermotivation, let’s explore a personal story of how it undermined my pursuit of a more fulfilling life. After attempting to found several start-ups and watching them crash and burn while my 12 year marriage also crashed and burned – I found myself sad, lonely, depressed, and both unwilling and unable to engage with other founders, friends, colleagues, or the opposite sex. In addition to all of that, I didn’t want to even leave my house and I came up with long lists of reasons that confirmed why going outside or doing anything was a bad idea. I was deeply disintermotivated – my motivation had disintegrated. I was disinterested in what others had to say. I was disinterested in myself. In fact, my disinterest bordered on self- hatred. I needed to pull myself out of it. To do so, I dredged up a concept I had conceived of more than a decade earlier – the #microvictory. The problem was that I was trying to see huge leaps and to make giant strides forward. Not only was the work more than I may have been capable of doing (and certainly more than I was motivated to do) but I was convinced that my chances of success were null. Maybe I was right or maybe not – but ultimately that didn’t matter. It wasn’t until I leaned into #microvictory that I began to pull myself out of the disintermotivation well I had fallen into.
Overcoming Disintermotivation:
While disintermotivation may seem overwhelming, the #microvictory is an effective strategy to combat it and regain momentum towards personal goals. Just as they did for me, the following approaches can help individuals overcome disintermotivational thinking:
- Meetups and Support Systems: Engaging in meetups and joining communities with similar interests can provide valuable social support. Interacting with like-minded individuals facing similar challenges can foster a sense of belonging and motivation. Sharing experiences, advice, and successes can inspire individuals to overcome disintermotivation together. You can start a group or join one – any group that has something of interest in it for you will work. Joining is one #microvictory and attending a virtual or in real life meetup are additional ones. Talking to other members is a #microvictory. Participating is a #microvictory. Even going to the meeting and not getting out of your car is a #microvictory. Give yourself credit for those steps. You know (and I know) that none of them are easy.
- Addressing Social Anxiety: Social anxiety often contributes to disintermotivation, making it difficult to engage in activities that require interaction with others. Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can assist in managing social anxiety. Personally, I read up on social anxiety (that was a #microvictory) and then took some self-quizzes. There are amazing videos that break this down and if you need to go further, you can use paid apps like that will actually give you the chance to talk with a real therapist. Remember – reading about it is a microvictory, watching a video is a microvictory, and eventually learning to overcome it is the big goal at the end – but you don’t even have to think about that one. Focus on the #microvictory. Allow yourself to live your experience – it might take a thousand microvictories. Celebrate them all. Practicing gradual exposure to social situations and employing relaxation techniques can gradually reduce social anxiety and enhance motivation.
- Tackling Societal Loneliness: Feelings of loneliness and isolation are rampant in our societies. You are not alone if you feel this way. Critical self-thinking can exacerbate disintermotivation. Building and nurturing social connections (one at a time – say “Hi” to someone at a meetup or in a coffeeshop and don’t expect even a return ‘Hi’ the #microvictory is just doing it. )It doesn’t rely on the other person at all. Even this tiny step can alleviate these negative emotions and provide the support needed to stay motivated. Engaging in community activities, volunteering, or participating in group hobbies can create opportunities for meaningful social interactions and combat societal loneliness.
- Utilizing Social Media for Motivation and Accountability: My social media game has gone from bad to worse. My disntermotivated self would love to blame me for that. It may be true, but more likely it is the platforms themselves that are flawed. These platforms can serve as effective tools for motivation and accountability – EVEN IF YOU NEVER GET A LIKE OR SHARE. Creating a public commitment to a goal, sharing progress updates, and (when it happens, if it does) connecting with others pursuing similar aspirations can generate a sense of external motivation and support. However, it is essential to strike a balance and not solely rely on social media for validation and motivation. The posting itself is the #microvictory here, not the response of others. If others see it and are into it, that’s great, but that’s not your goal. Your goal is to simply do it. It’s why I am trying to post all of my #microvictory wins and also giving myself concrete #microvictory challenges (like attend 30 meetups in 40 days – OMFG….I can’t believe I’m doing this btw…but I’m doing it – every meetup counts as a #microvictory.
- Breaking Tasks into Smaller Steps: And that brings us directly to the next point, rather than focusing on the daunting nature of a goal (like “I’m going to go to 30 meetups”) , break it down into smaller, manageable tasks can make it more approachable (step by step, day by day, one day at a time, each meetup is a microvictory). Setting achievable milestones and celebrating progress along the way can counter disintermotivation. By focusing on incremental advancements, you (and I) can build momentum and maintain motivation throughout the process.
Disintermotivational thinking can hinder your entire life. Not just personal growth but also it can prevent us from achieving our desired outcomes by keeping us from even starting. However, by understanding the nature of disintermotivation and implementing #microvictory strategies like building support networks, addressing social anxiety, combating societal loneliness, utilizing social media effectively, and breaking tasks into smaller steps, we can overcome. I know we can. I believe in you. I believe in me. I believe in us.